This free printable PDF poster helps adults understand children’s behaviour through a trauma informed and attachment focused lens. It supports positive behaviour management for children, young people and teenagers, especially those struggling with emotional regulation, anxiety, school refusal or challenging behaviour.
The poster compares two ways of responding to the same situation. A behaviour lens labels a child as lazy, manipulative or disrespectful. A connection lens asks what is underneath the behaviour – dysregulation, overwhelm, shame or feeling unsafe. It covers common issues such as shouting and swearing, refusing school, lying and aggressive behaviour.
The clear message is simple – be firm about behaviour, be soft about the child. It encourages adults to set clear boundaries around hitting, swearing or breaking things, while staying calm, connected and supportive. This downloadable PDF is ideal for parents, carers, foster carers, adoptive parents, teachers, SEN staff, social workers, therapists and counsellors. It is particularly helpful for children and teens with ASD, ADHD or trauma related behaviour difficulties. A practical wellbeing and mental health resource for homes, classrooms and therapy settings, promoting connection, safety and healthy relationships while maintaining consistent limits.
