Help children move through big feelings more safely with a clear, printable reminder of adult responses that can unintentionally escalate distress. It is particularly suited to parents, foster carers, teachers, teaching assistants and child therapists supporting kids who become overwhelmed, angry, tearful or dysregulated.
Co-regulation is the central theme of this child behaviour and emotional regulation poster. It identifies eight common adult reactions that may intensify a child’s upset, including trying to reason when they are overwhelmed, telling them to calm down, getting louder, dismissing a feeling, and using too many words.
Each point pairs the unhelpful response with a practical alternative. Short examples show how to offer connection, keep language simple, stay steady when a child raises their voice, and acknowledge anger or disappointment while continuing to hold a safe boundary.
The poster also addresses two issues that often arise during meltdowns and challenging behaviour: changing a reasonable limit simply to stop the upset, and focusing only on shouting, crying, hitting or throwing without considering what happened beforehand. It encourages adults to look for patterns, triggers, demands, transitions and feelings once everyone is calm.
Parents can keep it on a fridge or use it as a quick prompt after a difficult moment. School staff, pastoral teams, play therapists and family support workers could use it in staff rooms, parenting sessions or conversations about supportive responses to children’s tantrums, emotional outbursts and distress. It closes by reinforcing that the aim is not to prevent upset, but to help children manage and express difficult feelings safely.
