This free printable PDF is a simple, visual resource that explains toxic shame in children in a clear and easy to understand way. It shows how children can begin to believe there is something wrong with them, rather than understanding that it is their behaviour that needs support or guidance.
The poster compares healthy shame and toxic shame, helping adults and young people see the difference between learning from mistakes and feeling like the problem. It includes real-life examples of things children often hear, such as being told they are “too sensitive” or “the problem”, and explains how repeated messages like these can affect a child’s self-esteem, confidence, and emotional wellbeing over time. It also highlights how toxic shame can show up later, including feeling not good enough, blaming themselves, apologising too much, or feeling like a burden to others. Alongside this, it gives clear, supportive phrases adults can use to help children feel safe, valued, and understood.
This resource is useful for parents, carers, foster carers, teachers, social workers, therapists, and counsellors who are supporting children or young people with low self-worth, emotional difficulties, trauma, attachment needs, or behaviour that may be linked to shame. It can be used in direct work, parenting support, or training to open up conversations about feelings, identity, and relationships. It is especially helpful for anyone looking for practical ways to support children’s mental health, build self-esteem, improve behaviour, and strengthen positive communication and relationships.
