Handbook for men concerned about their abusive behaviours towards those they love

Handbook for men concerned about their abusive behaviours towards those they love-thumbnail

This 32-page handbook aims to help men concerned about their abusive behaviours make positive changes in their relationships. It takes an empathetic, non-judgemental approach to spur self-reflection on topics like the impact of abuse, excuses used, and ability to choose non-violent actions.

The handbook emphasizes that while past experiences can help explain abusive behaviours, they don’t excuse them. Men are seen as fully capable of and responsible for making better choices. Personal stories illustrate men realizing the control they have over their actions.

Practical suggestions are provided for rebuilding safety and trust in relationships after abuse. This includes sincerely apologizing, consistently keeping promises, and giving family time as change doesn’t happen instantly. Tips are offered for managing feelings like jealousy constructively.

A key theme is men’s ability to create the mutually caring, respectful relationships they desire by making their loved ones feel safe. Exercises prompt thinking about the kind of relationship wanted and steps individual men can take to get there.

Frank yet compassionate, the handbook validates men’s struggles with shame and excuses. Supportive counselling is presented as a helpful resource for maintaining focus on change. Both individual and group counselling are seen as safe places to talk freely and find encouragement.

Overall, the handbook sends a powerful message of hope – that with courage, self-honesty and commitment to non-violence, men can stop abusive behaviours. The empathetic tone inspires change while maintaining accountability.


  • Building a close relationship with your partner
  • What kind of relationship do you want?
  • How abuse destroys relationships
  • How your partner and children may respond to your abusive behaviours
  • Deciding to Change
  • Making Different Choices
  • Rebuilding safety takes time
  • A program to help men change
  • Quotes about change


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